The French Art Of Not Giving A Sh*t

In lieu of releasing my Austin Art Talk podcast interview with Valerie Chaussonnet today I am sharing at little info about a book I recently listened to. The interview will come out instead next Wednesday when life is hopefully back to normal and the snow has thawed. When I first started listening to this book I knew nothing about it. Sometimes that is a good thing. I definitely was not expecting it to be a book about meditation. That is not what it is all about, but Midal does base his grounded attitude and mindful approach on a consistent practice. Hard to say if being French has anything to do with it, but I’m sure it cant hurt. Seems to me to really be about accepting reality and not striving and struggling so much with life. Loving what is, as Byron Kaite would say.

Here is some text used to promote the book that summarizes things much better than I ever could. And there is my favorite quote that talks about artists at the end.

Midal gives listeners permission to: 

  • Stop obeying - you are intelligent

  • Stop being calm - be at peace

  • Stop wanting to be perfect - accept life's storms

  • Stop rationalizing - let things be

  • Stop comparing - be you

  • Stop being ashamed - be vulnerable

  • Stop tormenting yourself - become your own best friend

  • Stop wanting to love - be benevolent

One of the world's leading teachers of meditation and mindfulness, Midal offers us a new solution to the perennial problem of our too-much, too-fast modern life. It's OK, he urges us, to say no. It's fine to quit the things that don't fulfill you. It's necessary, in fact, to give ourselves a break and say, simply, c'est la vie. 

In The French Art of Not Giving a Sh*t, Midal gives each of us permission to stop doing the things that don't make us happy...so we have room in our lives for the things that do. “

©2017 Fabrice Midal (P)2017 Hachette Audio

“When I was teaching photography at the University of Paris, my students and I used to go to exhibitions by great photographers. The main point was to show them that looking at a picture and appreciating it means allowing yourself to be moved by it and in a sense to let it look at you. It means no longer wanting to understand, analyze, reflect. I’ve learned a lot from being in contact with artists, poets, musicians, and painters. For them not giving a shit seems such an obvious move. They say that’s where their real talent lies. Something no amount of effort could produce. Because no one can decide through will power alone to create a great work of art. They know how to listen to the voice speaking inside them. They know how to abandon something, to give themselves over to something they can’t invent. In reality the greatest effort an artist can make is to learn how to listen to this gift. The point is, stop giving a shit.”

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Thank you for your support.

The 5 Love Languages

“Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct. I need to be loved by someone who chooses to love me, who sees in me something worth loving.

That kind of love requires effort and discipline. It is the choice to expend energy in an effort to benefit the other person, knowing that if his or her life is enriched by your effort, you too will find a sense of satisfaction — the satisfaction of having genuinely loved another. It does not require the euphoria of the in-love experience. In fact, true love cannot begin until the in-love experience has run its course.”
— Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages
“People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need.”
— Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages

The 5 Love Languages are Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Gifts, and Physical Touch. I’ve been aware of this list for many years but never fully read the book or tried that hard to implement the intelligence of this approach to my past relationships in an intentional way. I’m impressed by Dr. Chapman and what he was able to figure out after years of counseling couples. Essentially everyone interprets and takes in love from others in their own way. If you can figure out what your partner’s primary love languages are it will go a very long way towards making sure they are feeling fulfilled and safe in the relationship.

You can take a quiz on the official website and it’s nice because they give you the results without requiring your email like some other test/quiz sites. Here are my results below. Seems fairly true. I do often feel much better after getting verbal confirmation of where I stand with people, especially after being in a black hole of no information for too long. You know, the kind of mental and emotional limbo where a lot of negative stories are created. If I get the words along with the quality time and physical touch I’m golden. Gifts and acts of service do not mean nearly as much to me to receive, but it’s interesting I do enjoy sharing those very much.

I’m looking forward to including this approach next time around. I’d recommend you at least familiarize yourself with the basics and pay attention to what you need for yourself and observe what someone else might need the most. Very often in his practice, it seems Gary was able to save many relationships using this framework.

My results from the 5 Love Languages quiz.

Thanks to Fiercemarriage.com for making this nice graphic based on Dr.Chapman’s work and book.

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Thank you for your support.

The Practice by Seth Godin

“To be of service. Isn’t that what we are here to do. To do work we are proud of. To put ourselves on the hook. To find the contribution we are capable of. The only way to be on this journey is to begin. But there isn’t a guarantee. In fact, most of what we seek to do will not work. But our intent, the intent of being of service, of making things better, of building something that matters, is an essential part of the pattern.”
— Seth Godin - The Practice

Seth Godin’s new book The Practice: Shipping Creative Work is just chock-full of his style of wisdom and unique take on the world. As one reviewer on Amazon stated, it’s Seth’s magnum opus on the subject of creativity. Even though it is not a long book it feels massive in the scope of its inspiring offering. The book is separated into 11 sections containing a total of 219 individual maxims. My main take away is no matter what, I need to maintain a consistent creative practice without fixating on the outcome. Create, be of service, and keep moving forward.

Trying to listen to the whole book straight through had my head swimming and I definitely lost track a couple of times. It’s a lot to take in and I would recommend splitting it up or if you have the physical book even better. Maybe digest one rule at a time and give yourself a chance to absorb it. I might even try reading one every day.

I’ve included in this post an interview he did for the book with Jordan Harbinger which I really enjoyed. And I’d like to share some of the quotes from the book that resonated with me most at this point in my life.

“Better is possible, but not if we continue to settle, continue to hide, and continue to scurry along the same paths. We have more to do. We need your contribution. But it can’t happen, and won’t happen if we can’t figure out how to trust ourselves enough to do the work. ”
— Seth Godin - The Practice
“The creativity you put into your work is an opportunity for better. It opens doors and turns on lights. It connects the disconnected and creates the bonds of culture. Art transforms the recipient even as it allows individuals to become us. Art is the human act of doing something that might not work and causing change to happen. Work that matters, for people who care. Not for applause, not for money. But because we can. ”
— Seth Godin - The Practice
“The story we tell ourselves leads to the actions we take. If you want to change your story change your actions first. When we choose to act a certain way our mind can’t help but rework our narrative to make those actions become coherent. We become what we do.”
— Seth Godin - The Practice

2001: A Space Odyssey

When I recently listened to Stephen Hawking’s book Brief Answers To The Big Questions, it made me think of 2001: A Space Odyssey, so I then listened to that book and will re-watch the movie soon. Science fiction is one of my favorites genres, and I was not disappointed. And even though I can’t remember the movie fully, I could tell there are differences, as is typical. It’s interesting that in the introduction Arthur C. Clarke himself shares that the book and movie were created concurrently.

Listening to both books got me thinking about how far away the closest stars and their planets are and how it’s very unlikely in my lifetime that humans will be able to travel outside of our solar system or that we will discover extraterrestrial life. Who knows for sure. No doubt I’m not alone in wishing to know and see more of this incomprehensibly vast universe. I love the awe of looking up at the stars at night.

So I then looked up what man-made object is furthest from the earth. Turns out it is Voyager 1 which has traveled over 14 billion miles from here since it was launched in 1977, traveling at almost 38,000 miles per hour. Astounding! The Nasa Jet Propulsion Lab has a great website showing the current location of many spacecraft, modeled in 3D, and flying through space, all in a really nice full-screen interface.

It seems for now I will have to just settle for books and movies and my imagination to take me beyond what’s known and seen. Do you ever think about what’s out there?

“Behind every man now alive stand thirty ghosts, for that is the ratio by which the dead outnumber the living. Since the dawn of time, roughly a hundred billion human beings have walked the planet Earth.

Now this is an interesting number, for by a curious coincidence there are approximately a hundred billion stars in our local universe, the Milky Way. So for every man who has ever lived, in this Universe there shines a star.”
— Arthur C. Clarke, 2001: A Space Odyssey

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Thank you for your support.

Stephen Hawking

“So remember to look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious. And however difficult life may seem, there is always something you can do and succeed at. It matters that you don’t just give up. Unleash your imagination. Shape the future.”
— Stephen Hawking - Brief Answers to the Big Questions

Other than Lou Gehrig himself, Stephen Hawking is probably the most famous person to have had ALS (Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis.) He passed away almost exactly one year after my father, in 2018. The difference is he miraculously lived with ALS for 54 years and my father only survived it about a year and a half after being diagnosed.

When I heard the news about Mr. Hawking it definitely made me think about my father. Dad only made it to age 67. I often wish that I could give him a call and ask him questions when I am struggling with different things in my life. He worked for the Veterans Administration as a programmer for almost 50 years and most of his efforts were in service of veterans. He was one himself, having served in Vietnam.

Stephen Hawking unquestionably contributed a great deal to science and was a role model and inspiration for persons with disabilities. The last book that he wrote, Brief Answers To The Big Questions, turned out to be very understandable and enlightening. He covers a lot of subjects. God, extraterrestrials, black holes, time travel, artificial intelligence, and more. I highly recommend it if you have an interest in hearing a unique perspective on these subjects from the mind of a true genius.

“One of the great revelations of the space age has been the perspective it has given humanity on ourselves. When we see the Earth from space, we see ourselves as a whole. We see the unity and not the divisions. It is such a simple image with a compelling message; one planet, one human race.”
— Stephen Hawking - Brief Answers to the Big Questions
“Let us fight for every woman and every man to have the opportunity to live healthy, secure lives, full of opportunity and love. We are all time travellers, journeying together into the future. But let us work together to make that future a place we want to visit. Be brave, be curious, be determined, overcome the odds. It can be done.”
— Stephen Hawking - Brief Answers to the Big Questions

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Thank you for your support.

Richard Wright

If you are a person who would check the box next to the word “White” for your ethnicity on an application or census form, I have a question for you. How many books have you read or listened to that detail the life of a person of color? I feel some shame at the fact that only recently have I started exploring that blindspot in more detail. Back in November, I finished Richard Wright’s Black Boy. I almost couldn’t stop listening to it. Memoirs are often fascinating, but in this one, Richard describes in great detail his outer and inner life from early childhood to adulthood in the early 1900s. His growing up in a strict household with an ailing mother, hunger, and poverty, all the way through into his teenage and young adult life. As he got older, he described having more contact with white people in the south, and how he had to navigate and learn how not to get killed. I know that I will probably never understand what it’s like to have that fear every time I go out into the world. That I might look at someone wrong or say something they think is inappropriate, or really not be doing anything at all, just trying to live a good life, and end up beaten or killed without much consideration. The way he was treated was just horrendous.

It’s so incredibly frustrating to hear people question the basic spirit of the black lives matter movement, without trying to understand or take into consideration the hundreds of years of oppression, degradation, beatings, and killings these people endured at the hands of someone who might have looked just like me. I didn’t create that world and I would like to think I haven’t directly contributed to it in my lifetime, but I also don’t feel like I’ve done much to mend those deep wounds if that’s even possible. For most of my life, I’ve claimed to be a-political and was awoken to the reality that it’s a very convenient and privileged position for a straight white man to take because he doesn’t have a lot of things that he needs to fight for or against compared with others. All doors are open, there are no limits, and there’s no legacy of not being treated like a human being. If you are someone like me, do yourself a favor and read and listen to these voices and learn about this history.

“What was it that made the hate of whites for blacks so steady? Seemingly so woven into the texture of things. What kind of life was possible under that hate. How had this hate come to be?”
— Richard Wright - Black Boy
12 Years a Slave
By Solomon Northup
Up From Slavery
By Washington, Booker T.
“I hungered for books. New ways of looking and seeing. It wasn’t a matter of believing or disbelieving what I read, but of feeling something new, of being affected by something that made the look of the world different.”
— Richard Wright - Black Boy

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Thank you for your support.

Kitchen Confidential

It’s both exciting and daunting to think about all there is to discover and experience in the world. All of the different people, places, and realities that exist. And in any minute of any day, with access to the world at your fingertips, you can come across so many new things. Billions of people with unique lives, so unlike our own. As much as I enjoy other types of books, I feel autobiographies and memoirs give a special glimpse into the mind and experiences of someone very different from myself.

This is the case with Anthony Bourdain. He is famous, and I had of course heard of him and had seen advertisements for his many series about food and travel. But I’ve never watched an episode he’s hosted, and really knew little about him. He ended his life a few years ago, which is so tragic. Searching the available audiobooks at my library through the Libby app, I came across Kitchen Confidential. Why not try to learn about a person and world I know nothing about? The book was short enough to finish during one delivery shift, a length that I enjoy and mostly prefer.

What an entertaining and eye-opening book! How many times have I been to a restaurant, without giving much of a thought to the lives of those who make it all possible? No doubt Anthony’s take on the behind the scenes reality that he experienced is not everyone’s story. The drugs, drinking, foul language, sex, theft, mob connections, and all other forms of dysfunction, were fairly shocking and eye-opening. But there was also the love of food, and I think that impressed me most.

As I was listening I just kept thinking, what a naive and sheltered life I’ve led. But then maybe most people who have not consumed mountains of drugs, or risked their lives confronting a mob boss, would feel the same way. I’m probably being too hard on myself as usual. My life has not been boring, but Anthony definitely seems to have lived a life beyond the edges, and there is something curious and appealing about that. Especially for someone who has mostly played it safe, with a lot of fear and risk aversion. I’m grateful he shared a peek into this other world and life, and I’m inspired to listen to more memoirs and autobiographies to help expand my understanding and compassion for people in all their variety.

“My love for chaos, conspiracy and the dark side of human nature colors the behavior of my charges, most of whom are already living near the fringes of acceptable conduct.”
— Anthony Bourdain, Kitchen Confidential

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Thank you for your support.

A Year Of Daring Greatly?

“Give me the courage to show up, and let myself be seen.”
— Brené Brown

The last book I listened to in 2020 was Daring Greatly by Brené Brown. I’m a fan of her work and was first impacted by her very famous Ted Talk from 10 years ago, The Power of Vulnerability. Since that first video, I have thought often about vulnerability and my relationship with it. As much as I might think that I want to be more vulnerable in all aspects of my life, consciously or unconsciously it seems that’s easier said than done. Allowing yourself to be fully seen, warts and all is very hard for someone who often fears rejection and criticism, and who wants to be seen as strong, right, and competent. Luckily the book shares some approaches and strategies to work on that. The trick is the discipline to follow through!

Brené narrates the book herself. It was an enjoyable listen, and I found the distillation of her work on vulnerability to be helpful, and an inspiration towards my continued intentions to grow and figure out how to be a more open person.

She says, “We judge people in areas where we are vulnerable to shame. We’re hard on each other because we are using each other as a launching pad out of our own shame.” I believe this quote speaks to a truth I figured out years ago. Whenever something bothers me about someone else, 9 out of 10 times, it is something that I don’t like about myself. So if I personally feel shame about that thing, then I will judge others and be triggered by its manifestation in someone else. For myself, that shame triggers outward negativity, until I stop and take a hard look at its origin. It surprises me how this connection is almost always the source of my angst.

The other quote from the book that resonated with me is this one. “Perfection is a self-destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect and do everything perfectly, I can avoid and minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.” It sure seems like perfection is common in a lot of people, and I doubt it ever leads to happiness or contentment. If being perfect is all about how others perceive you and your actions, then likely you are giving your power away, and are mainly reliant on outside validation for your self-worth.

Brené admits that she has struggled a lot with these issues, even with all that she knows and has studied and learned. It’s not an easy journey but it is the right one for me. I’ll be giving this book another pass, and hope that this year will be one filled with less judgment and shame, and more vulnerability, love, joy, and acceptance.

“Are my choices comforting and nourishing my spirit, or are they temporary reprieves from vulnerability and difficult emotions, ultimately diminishing my spirit? Are my choices leading to my wholeheartedness, or do they leave me feeling empty and searching?”
— Brené Brown

Courtesy of Brené’s website.

“Nothing has transformed my life more than realizing that it’s a waste of time to evaluate my worthiness by weighing the reaction of the people in the stands.”
— Brené Brown

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Thank you for your support.

Find Your Artistic Voice

Books that you can listen to in less than 3-4 hours I think are ideal. When a book looks interesting and I find out it is 20+ hours long, it feels daunting, and often I will skip it unless it is very well written and expertly and enjoyably narrated. Sometimes while listening to long books I get the feeling that they could have been made shorter. But I have never written a book so who knows how long mine would be. Some of them are worth an extended time. The short ones do add up faster, and that feels good.

Find Your Artistic Voice by Lisa Congdon is a good short length, around 4 hours, and when you listen at 1.3x or 1.4x it goes even faster. I’ve found when I put books on normal speed after getting used to the faster progress, it sounds like it has been slowed down to a slow-mo pace.

Some of the advice that Lisa shares is common sense, and things I have heard before. Not surprising since I have a podcast interviewing artists. The great thing about this book though is having all of those ideas and thoughts condensed into one place where they can be read and heard in a short amount of time. For me, the best part of the book is the short interviews with specific artists, about their work and artistic voices. For the new artist, it could be a great guide and for the seasoned artist, it could be a nice reminder with a few new ideas thrown in.

It’s definitely worth a listen or grab a physical copy to peruse at your leisure. The benefit of a physical copy is all of Lisa’s fun artwork throughout the book and the very satisfying graphic design of the layout.

Here is also a short interview with Lisa talking about artistic voice and a link to more info about her and other podcast appearances.

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Thank you for your support.

The Tao Of Pooh

This photo was in one of the many albums that I looked through while visiting my aunt in Florida for Thanksgiving. Digital photography has made albums with 4x6 prints seem to me like they are from another time. Luckily you can still sometimes find them stored in dusty cabinets, waiting for hands and eyes to revive their memories. Reminiscing while flipping the pages of an old album always brings a smile to my face.

From the looks of the carpet and decor, I was standing in my grandparent’s living room in New Alexandria, PA. It’s a very small town that I would come to know much better when a few years after this particular Christmas, my parents got a divorce, and I spent the next seven years visiting over the summer school break. Whenever I am in Pennsylvania visiting my great aunt, I make a point to drive by the old house and think about all of the time I spent there with Bob and Grace.

The book I am holding in the photo does not look familiar, but it did make me think about another book, The Tao of Pooh. It was available immediately from the library so I gave it a listen. The author uses lines from the original Milne texts and the various characters and relates them to a description of Taoism. According to a summary of the book on Wikipedia, “Winnie-the-Pooh himself, personifies the principles of wu wei, the Taoist concept of "effortless doing," and p'u, the concept of being open to, but unburdened by, experience, and it is also a metaphor for natural human nature.” I appreciate the connection but overall the book was not that enjoyable of a listen, and even felt annoying at times.

Even though I did not love it, there are still some good lines that I liked. Hoff in this quote below is talking about the contrast between the empty and overstuffed mind. He’s definitely a fan of simplicity and “the path to nothing” and states at the end of the book that knowledge and cleverness are a path to destruction. I’m not sure what to think about that.

“While the clear mind listens to a bird singing, the stuffed full of knowledge and cleverness mind wonders what kind of bird is singing. The more stuffed up it is, the less it can hear through its own ears and see through its own eyes. Knowledge and cleverness tend to concern themselves with the wrong sorts of things. And a mind confused by knowledge, cleverness, and abstract ideas, tends to go chasing off after things that don’t matter. Or that don’t even exist, instead of seeing, appreciating, and making use of what is right in front of it. ”
— The Tao Of Pooh
FullSizeRender.jpeg
The Tao of Pooh
By Hoff, Benjamin

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Thank you for your support.

Breath

This might sound like a weird thing to do, but after listening to Breath by James Nestor, I decided to try taping my mouth shut at night. That was the big takeaway for me, that mouth breathing deteriorates your health in many ways and should be avoided or corrected if possible. It was something I think I knew but it helped to hear it and the accompanying research to convince me to take action. So far, after quite a few nights forced to breathe only through my nose, I’ve been waking up feeling more alert and clear-headed. And my mouth is not dried out which is a bonus.

Growing up with asthma, I remember a long period of time when I slept with two fluffy pillows to keep my head raised high so I could breathe. My nose was often stuffed up and so breathing through my mouth always felt much safer and less stressful. If you know what an asthma attack feels like, you tend to like having no obstructions to your breathing. Taking a breath can either be an automatic action not even noticed or when restricted, stressful, and full of anxiety and tension. Might be one of the many reasons why I cry so much at the end of the movie The Elephant Man. Mr. Merrick had to prop himself up so he would not suffocate and die.

When I was twenty one I almost died from an asthma attack and had to be flown by helicopter to the hospital. The firefighters, who arrived first, nearly had to give me CPR, and I ended up on a ventilator for a few hours. So I have definitely thought a lot about my lungs and breathing. And around that same age, I had a major oral surgery to correct my under-bite and narrow upper palate. If I had it to do over again I might not go through with it. No doubt it was a traumatic thing for my head and body to endure, even though I was technically anesthetized.

I mostly blame asthma and mouth breathing through my developmental years for needing the surgery at all. When your tongue primarily stays at the bottom of your mouth as you are growing, it does not help to form your upper jaw and palate correctly. It’s not that I looked malformed, but my chin was more pronounced with an under-bite, my teeth did not line up properly, and my upper jaw was slightly recessed and narrow.

When I started writing this post, I did not intend to share as much as I have. Not sure why I feel a need to journal publicly about my life in this way, but I’m trusting that my inclination to do so is right and true.

X-ray where you can see the screws from my jaw surgery.

The One-Straw Revolution

On my way to work early this morning, I heard an NPR story about utilizing and increasing the awareness of plants that most people would call weeds. Plants that grow wild, but are often the progenitors of the domesticated vegetables most of us eat daily. It’s nice to hear a story like this that promotes awareness of plants that are mostly neglected or scorned as a nuisance. I’m a fan of volunteer plants.

My interest in plants and where our food comes from, has grown substantially since working at a farm. And within the last five years, I’ve also studied herbalism, survival, and primitive skills, and taken a permaculture design course. All efforts to essentially learn more about and be closer to nature. The NPR story reminded me of another famous farming book, The One-Straw Revolution by Masanobu Fukuoka. And I lucked out that it was available from the library right when I wanted to hear it.

After listening to the book, this video was fun to watch. Mr. Fukuoka practiced something called do-nothing natural farming. The gist of it is, doing the least amount of work, or anything that goes against what is natural. He found a way to farm that did not use any machines, chemicals, or outside inputs like compost or fertilizers. He did less work than his neighbors and had comparable yields. The most important aspect might be that he paid very close attention to what happened naturally and did not fight that.

The yearning that I felt while listening to his words, was to have my own plot of land. A place to live, and learn about, and evolve with. Ideally, I’d then be able to grow and eat a lot of my own whole foods, practice more cooking and canning and preserving, go foraging, and also grow medicinal plants. And just like he modeled, find a way of observing, respecting, and tuning in to the land and working with it and all of its complexity, instead of thinking I know better or that more technology is only the answer.

“When it is understood that one loses joy and happiness in the attempt to possess them, the essence of natural farming will be realized. The ultimate goal of farming is not the growing of crops, but the cultivation and perfection of human beings.

Fast rather than slow, more rather than less—this flashy “development” is linked directly to society’s impending collapse. It has only served to separate man from nature. Humanity must stop indulging the desire for material possessions and personal gain and move instead toward spiritual awareness.”
— The One-Straw Revolution by Masanobu Fukuoka

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Thank you for your support.

Draft Horse & Wendell Berry

“The concept of country, homeland, dwelling place becomes simplified as “the environment” — that is, what surrounds us. Once we see our place, our part of the world, as surrounding us, we have already made a profound division between it and ourselves. We have given up the understanding — dropped it out of our language and so out of our thought— that we and our country create one another, depend on one another, are literally part of one another; that our land passes in and out of our bodies just as our bodies pass in and out of our land; that as we and our land are part of one another, so all who are living as neighbours here, human, plant and animal are part of one another, and so cannot possibly flourish alone; that, therefore, our culture must be our response to our place, our culture and our place are images of each other and inseparable from each other, and so neither can be better than the other.”
— Wendell Berry, The Unsettling of America: Culture and Agriculture

Before being involved in the world of farming, I don’t think I’d ever heard of Wendell Berry. Maybe you haven’t yet either. Wikipedia lists him as an “American novelist, poet, essayist, environmental activist, cultural critic, and farmer.” Glad I know about him now. What a gift he has with words. This past week I finally listened to one of his books, The Unsettling of America, and was impressed. It’s the kind of book which shows you a different way to look at things with a big emphasis on critical thinking. I’ll be sharing more quotes from this book in future posts as I digest them.

As with Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Noah Harari, it is thick with deep thoughts to ponder and reread. The kind of book that after a first pass, I’m inspired to buy a physical copy and go over it again, with patient, thoughtful, and concentrated examination. For me, these types of works feel valuable and worth trying to understand and hopefully integrate the information more permanently.

In the book, Mr. Berry defends the use of draft horse in farming and his passion for it reminded me of when I visited Sand Creek Farm in Cameron, TX in 2014. It was a magazine assignment from Acres USA, to photograph a working farm still using animals for plowing and other farm labor. They needed images for an upcoming issue about homesteading and small scale farming. Draft horse is not common these days, other than maybe with groups like the Amish, or for shows and competitions that keep it alive. Lucky that there was a great example of a working farm only a few hours from Austin. I was excited by the prospect of getting to see and learn about a different way of living and a time-honored practice.

140614_SDG200011.jpg
“The soil is the great connector of lives, the source and destination of all. It is the healer and restorer and resurrector, by which disease passes into health, age into youth, death into life. Without proper care for it we can have no community, because without proper care for it we can have no life.”
— Wendell Berry, The Unsettling of America: Culture and Agriculture

As I was driving there early before sunrise, a deer jumped in front of my car and totaled it. That was how the trip started, but after that it was wonderful. I spent the night at the farm and had a very enjoyable dinner with the owner Ben Godfrey and his family. Also, my friend Sarah who had worked at Johnson’s Backyard Garden was living and working there at the time, so it was nice to spend time with her. They gave me a tour of the whole operation which included, growing vegetables in the ground and with aquaponics in greenhouses, milking cows, making cheese, and the animals and equipment needed for draft horse. It was very nice of them to put in the time and complicated work of tacking up the animals and connecting them to plows, trailers, and carts. They demonstrated many of the various ways they used draft horse as I followed along with my camera to capture the story. See the photos below and the final Acres USA cover photo. Definitely one of my favorite jobs so far. You call this work?

It was exciting to be able to drive the horses down the road near the farm for a stretch. They are such powerful animals and so gentle and intelligent. I’ll not easily forget that experience any time soon. Not common at all where I come from! Thanks to Sarah for the photo, grabbed from Instagram.

IMG_1551.PNG
“When despair for the world grows in me and I wake in the night at the least sound… I come into the peace of wild things who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief. I come into the presence of still water. And I feel above me the day-blind stars waiting with their light. For a time I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.”
— Wendell Berry - The Peace of Wild Things

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Thank you for your support.

Maya Angelou

There are many names of famous people that I have heard most of my life, and I don’t really know that much about them. At least not like you learn when you listen to someone tell the stories of their life. What a special opportunity with an autobiography to hear about someone else’s experiences, thoughts, and growth, in a personal way that allows you to see who they are and why. You get a glimpse of a life outside of your own and I think that fosters compassion and understanding.

As is the case with this first of seven autobiographies by Maya Angelou, which covers her youth up until age 17 when she gives birth to her son. From growing up in a small segregated southern town in the strict home of her grandmother, to the multiple locations of her father and mother’s separated lives, she had quite a lot of diverse experiences. One in particular that caught my ear was the month she lived in an automobile junkyard with an honest and organized group of homeless teenagers. That short amount of time-shifted many of her perspectives and gave her some important lessons. There is just something exciting to me about the idea of such a short amount of time, if spent in the right place with the right people, how that could really change your life. I welcome that kind of influence and adventure.

There are many great quotes in this book. The following is one that stood out as it might be just as relevant now, even though it was referring to people in the 1930’s.

“The Black female is assaulted in her tender years by all those common forces of nature at the same time that she is caught in the tripartite crossfire of masculine prejudice, white illogical hate and Black lack of power.

The fact that the adult American Negro female emerges a formidable character is often met with amazement, distaste and even belligerence. It is seldom accepted as an inevitable outcome of the struggle won by survivors and deserves respect if not enthusiastic acceptance.”
— I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings

Native American Heritage Month

There is a heavy subject that I often think about but don’t voice or address. If you are not in the mood for it you might consider skipping the first part of this post.

When I think or read about how Native Americans have been treated, and I try to imagine how different this country would be if their lives had been honored and respected, I just shake my head and feel a lot of shame. It’s not an exaggeration to say, the fact that many Americans are here living the lives they are is on the back of a mass elimination of human beings that were here long before any Europeans landed in the Americas. Not a fun history to think about but it’s the reality. Then you add slavery on top of that and it’s quite a dark period in our story.

How many Americans do I wonder have read the history and accounts of how Native Americans were treated by settlers and the US government? I’m sad to say I have only read one, Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee. As the author, Dee Brown states, “This is not a cheerful book, but history has a way of intruding upon the present, and perhaps those who read it will have a clearer understanding of what the American Indian is, by knowing what he was.“ It’s painful to hear of the heartless campaign to destroy the Native American culture and “replace it with the white man’s civilization.” The following quote and assessment still sounds relevant and likely set a precedent for how much of the land and resources of the US and world have been consumed and destroyed by greed and ignorance in the name of progress.

“To the Indians it seemed that these Europeans hated everything in nature - the living forests and their birds and beasts, the grassy grades, the water, the soil, the air itself.”
— Dee Brown - Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee

On a more positive note, here are a few other books that I found incredibly valuable that are authored by Native Americans. The first is The Lakota Way by Joseph M. Marshall III, which was a delight to listen to. These old stories and wisdom ring true to me and touch on something that is missing or that never was in the culture I was raised by. Where are the truly wise elders in our celebrities and politicians? Who do you look up to and why? What stories have these people shared that have helped you to learn about the world and how to navigate its perils and challenges?

Each chapter in the book shares an ancient story, with lessons about humility, perseverance, respect, honor, love, sacrifice, compassion, truth, bravery, fortitude, generosity, and wisdom. Talk about a self-help book that gets at what’s important.

“Humility was a virtue that the Lakota of old expected their leaders to possess. A quiet, humble person, we believed, was aware of other people and other things. An arrogant, boastful man was only aware of himself. Interestingly, our methods of selecting leaders today seem to favor the arrogant and boastful.”
— Joseph M. Marshall III - The Lakota Way

Lastly is a book by Don Miguel Ruiz Jr., son of the well-known author of The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz. At some point, I will write more about each agreement and what they mean to me. This truly is an amazing book full of wisdom. One of the big questions that keep coming up in the book is this. Are you using knowledge, or is knowledge using you? Give it a listen or a read. There is a lot to learn.

“The primary tool one uses to domesticate oneself is self judgement. Using my archetypal model of what “I am Miguel” is supposed to mean, I see upon looking at my reflection all the perceived flaws or inadequacies, and my domestication springs into action. I am not smart enough, I’m not attractive enough, I don’t have enough, I’m lacking this or that, and so on. Self judgement resides where self acceptance wishes to be. Our attachments to these self judgements can become so normal that we don’t even recognize them as condemnations anymore. We accept them as a part of who we are. But at a very basic level our self judgements are all consequences of what we believe about ourselves at our core. Wether we accept or reject ourselves. Of all the beliefs to detach from this is the most important one. Let go of the attachment that you must obtain some image of perfection in order to be happy.”
— Don Miguel Ruiz Jr.

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Thank you for your support.

Living More Directly

This lesson yesterday from The Book of Awakening has to be the one that many years ago jarred my world the most. And it continues to stick in my mind and cause me to observe carefully my interactions with others. It made me look much more closely at how I do or don’t communicate my needs, and how I might be manipulating others instead of having good boundaries and taking the risk of as Mark says, being hurt.

Give it a read and see how it lands. Maybe some people might not think it is a big deal or much of an issue. I’ve discovered in my quest to have better boundaries, and by seeing my friends to the same, that if yours have been weak, you might overcompensate and can come off as seeming harsh or overprotective of your time and energy. I think it takes time and practice to balance it out. What’s your experience? How directly do you live?

Screen Shot 2020-11-26 at 5.40.41 PM.png
Screen Shot 2020-11-26 at 5.41.17 PM.png

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Thank you for your support.

Down the Rabbit Hole

This isn’t exactly an internet rabbit hole I’m talking about. Much better than that. It happened this way.

I’ve been following The Tim Ferriss Show for many years and it’s one of my favorite podcasts. The other day I listened to Tim talk with author Mary Karr, who I really didn’t know at all, and found her delightful. Very funny and straightforward. She is someone that would be great fun to hang out with I suspect. And even though we both grew up in Texas, based on what I heard she had a much different experience than I did.

Growing up in Austin is not like growing up in a small east Texas town it seems. Mary’s parent’s style of fighting and raising kids, shared in the interview and book, reminded me of what Matthew McConaughey said about his childhood in Greenlights.

The Art of Memoir
By Karr, Mary

Turns out Mary is pretty well known and she wrote a book called The Art of Memoir and is a teacher. Since I’m creating this blog to get better at writing, and it is somewhat of a memoir at times, it seemed like a book I would like. What’s wonderful is sometimes when I go to find a book on Libby at the library it’s available! Then I don’t have to wait and can start it right then.

In that book, Mary speaks very highly of and read excerpts from Richard Wright’s Black Boy. That book was also available! As soon as I finished Karr’s book I started Wright’s. And who knows where it will go next. So good.

One silver lining to the fact that I have a job driving 20+ hours a week is that I can listen to a lot of books. This week while following this train of content, I had a moment of excitement about life I’d like to share. Think about all of the books, and people, and places, and things there are to experience and learn about! I hope I can fit all that I desire to pursue, into whatever time I have left. It gives me a lot of optimism and joy to consider all the possibilities. What gets you excited about life?

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Thank you for your support.

My Current Morning Routine

IMG_3852.JPG

Many of the podcasts I have listened to and books I have read talk about all the benefits of having specific habits to start your day. It’s not always easy to be consistent every morning but I do my best. It does seem to make a difference.

My first goal is ideally to get my body moving, so I stretch and exercise as soon as I get up. Once I am warmed up I sit down to read. I’ll speak to each text and why I like them.

This quote by The Dalai Lama is I find a good place to start. Beginning the day with the gratitude that you even woke up is I think a great practice and mindset.

Then I read over The Four Agreements, which come from a book of Toltec wisdom that has been very helpful for me on a daily basis. I will write a blog post breaking down why I like that book soon and elaborate on my view for each agreement.

The Book of Awakening - This is a daily reader that I have cycled through many times. Each new year Mark’s words resonate with me in different ways. I attribute that to being I hope a different person than I was a year ago. I’ve given this book to dozens of people as a gift and it’s always appreciated.

The Language of Letting Go - Melody’s book is a new addition this year and so far I’ve found it very helpful. Codependency has a lot of aspects that I think are good to keep an eye on.

Awareness - Anthony really tells it straight and his message is sometimes tough to take but it still rings true to me. One chapter each day. Recommended by Tim Ferriss.

The Celtic Spirit - As I mentioned a few days ago, this book gives me a daily dose of Celtic wisdom which I find interesting, having some Scots-Irish ancestry.

Daily Affirmations For Adult Children of Alcoholics - Sounds like an intense book right? Looking a few generations back in my family, I see no alcoholics, but I’m guessing the personal challenges that emerge from that kind of family life, manifest similarly in other dynamics and situations. I appreciate many of the affirmations, and can easily see past the alcoholic family references.

Next, I journal. If anything I just read stands out to me or triggers an urge to expand on an idea, I will start my journal that way. Otherwise, I just share whatever is on my mind for 1-3 pages in a 88 cent college ruled composition book.

The last thing I do before going on with the rest of my day is to meditate for 20 minutes. Vipassana is the style I practice, learned on a 10-day silent retreat 3 or 4 years ago. I find it a great way to get very in tune with my body and my reactions. I’ll share more about the experience of that retreat in a blog post at some point. That’s about it. How important is a morning routine for you?

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Thank you for your support.

Fahrenheit 451

Back in July of this year, I listened to two Ray Bradbury novels. Fahrenheit 451 and The Martian Chronicles. Most of the books I listen to and read are non-fiction, but I do like to take a break and listen to something more relaxing and entertaining at times. Especially science fiction and many of the classics that I have missed over the years. So far it’s been very rewarding.

The writing and story of Fahrenheit 451 were really enjoyable, and the narration was excellent. The main character Guy Montag is a fireman, not tasked with saving people's homes, but instead with burning all books, which in this dystopian future are banned. Eventually, his world opens up and he starts to question his actions, his society, and the value of the knowledge he’s destroying. 

When I am listening to books, if a phrase resonates with me, I will bookmark it and then later transcribe it into a document on my computer. The idea for this habit came from a few places. One is my desire to retain as much that is relevant to my life as possible and not just read or listen and forget everything. It’s interesting to me that I’m talking about trying to save this information from books, when at the end of Fahrenheit that is the overriding goal of the survivors, to remember literature. 

Author Ryan Holiday is a big proponent of something called the commonplace book. He describes it as a “central resource or depository for ideas, quotes, anecdotes, observations, and information you come across during your life and didactic pursuits. The purpose of the book is to record and organize these gems for later use in your life, in your business, in your writing, speaking, or whatever it is that you do.” So now I bookmark my books and have started carrying around a pen and field notes memo book in my back pocket to make sure I remember and record all of my ideas and observations. I always think I will remember but I don’t. My phone would work but that’s not as fun. The trick is then coalescing all of those notes and ideas into something greater. 

Fahrenheit 451
By Ray Bradbury

So let me share with you the quotes out of Fahrenheit 451 that I saved and why. All of them happen at the end of the book. The first one mainly because of my strong desire to buy land and live in the woods, much closer to nature than I ever have been. 24-7 forest bathing. This comes after Guy escapes the city into the country, maybe for the first time.

“The more he breathed the land in, the more he was filled up with all the details of the land. He was not empty, there was more than enough here to fill him, there would always be more than enough.”

These last two quotes are somewhat related in my mind. The ideas of living a full life with gratitude, making a positive difference, legacy, being the change you want to see, and your life contributing to a better world.

“Stuff your eyes with wonder. Live as if you’d drop dead in ten seconds. See the world. It’s more fantastic than any dream made or paid for in factories”
“He shaped the world. He did things to the world. The world was bankrupted by ten million fine actions the night he passed on.”

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Thank you for your support.