Tim Ferriss mentioned on a recent podcast episode, a communication technique that he learned from his girlfriend, that I think could be valuable. He also mentioned Nonviolent Communication and the audio program I’ve included in this post is an excellent introduction.
The way I understood it, if you are feeling some tension in a relationship and you want to share your anxious thoughts and feelings without putting the other person on the defensive you could say, “The story I am making up in my head is_____, and when I believe that thought I feel_____.”
This seems like a smart way to express the often negative and paranoid interpretations we all have of events and people’s actions, without going as far as accusing someone of something that could all be in your head. I find that the majority of the stories I create about others in relation to me are completely off base and are in the end a waste of energy. If you can hold off on making assumptions and get more info before forming a judgment and somehow avoid getting triggered that is even better.
“All violence is the result of people tricking themselves into believing that their pain derives from other people and that consequently, those people deserve to be punished.”
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